i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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