halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
