Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
