it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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