i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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