my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
