Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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