3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
