after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
