Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
