sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
