Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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