So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize