I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
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I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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