just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize