I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
