why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I would ride that face into the sunset
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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