She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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