I want leopard sheets
thats the plan
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.