pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.