pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
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we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
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Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.