you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
