A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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