Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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