I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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