forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
