Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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