i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
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