I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Help me help you realize you are a moron
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Couch. On fire.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
