Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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