Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
