hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
