You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize
