Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
