you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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