At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
