She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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