Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
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it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
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I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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