I'm drive I can fine osifer
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
