The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
