Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
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I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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