her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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