i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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