It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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