Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
