whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
