yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
