I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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