Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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