i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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