are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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