I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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