He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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