I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
