yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
