I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
