how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
no you cant smoke seaweed
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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