There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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