Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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