It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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