Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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